Saturday, November 5, 2011

How do you ask for it?

I came across an article the other day with 9 tips for women on how to ask for sex. Obviously, I don't really have a problem asking for sex. Well, maybe sometimes I still do...with those other than my husband. *wink*


The tips are simple. Easy.

I think it's unfortunate that so many women out there are too shy or embarrassed to ask for sex. Still, I do not doubt that it's true, and even the easy, simple ideas are not always so obvious.

Essentially, here is the list
  1. Send sexy texts/emails or slip him a love note
  2. Create a secret code for sex. Something you'd feel comfortable saying in front on your kids or in-laws. How fun!
  3. Do what you can to focus on sex throughout the day to help you be in the mood all. day. long (and into the night).
  4. Send non-verbal cues. Little kisses on the neck, etc.
  5. Try something new together. Something nonsexual. I'm not too sure about this one.
  6. Tell him he's HOT! Oh, yeah!
  7. Ask for it at unusual times - not just before jumping into bed for the night.
  8. Saunter down memory lane.
  9. Be straightforward. Love this one!
So, tell do you ask for it? I know this article was definitely geared toward woman asking for sex from their man, but I'd be interested in hearing from all perspectives.


  1. For me, these are difficult to answer.  Nothing works with my husband due to his medical condition, so I could do my utmost and nothing would happen.  He might look up and ask "What the hell are you doing?"  As a result I don't even go there now.

    Mr C on the other hand (my lover) is so receptive, and I could text or email and something would bounce back to me that would put a smile on my face for the rest of the day :-)

  2. I'm reminded of the Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry says the only signal he needs from a woman that she wants to have sex is a tap on the shoulder.

    Of course the one time his wife does this, he's just jerked off and he feebly responds that he's "tapped out." :)

  3. Oh, you know me.......I don't really ask. I tell. ;)
    But otherwise, I have no problem stating my desires.
    I'm a direct kind of girl.

  4. Lists like this bother me because it assumes that she actually wants sex.  For the most part these lists remind me of hat I'm NOT getting  However, putting the bitter pill aside, our code work is asking, "Is it Monday night already?"  It referes to back when Monday night was sex night (at least we tried.)  The one she has the hardest time with is #3.  Life and kids and PTA and Girl Scouts drains her energy and takes up all her thinking time.  As for #5, the novelty of a new activity stimulates reactions to all inputs, including sexual ones.  This does not seeing a new movie or eating a different restaraunt, but going kayaking or to a pottery class, or visiting a museum when data night is usually Applebees and grocery shopping.

    The last one, of course, is my favorite.  Just ask Baby!!

  5. Sorry to hear about the difficulties with your husband but glad to know someone can so easily make you smile all day long. :)

  6. HILARIOUS! Thanks. :)

  7. Ah, yes. We all know Freya is direct. *wink*

  8. We're pretty direct and don't usually have trouble asking for sex.  However, it is really unfortunate that this is such a common problem, so common that there is an entire subgenre of self-help centered around teaching people to ask for something that is so natural that it should be second-nature.  We've done quite a few of these things, except creating a secret code.  We might decide we need to come up with a code when our daughter is older and saying "Let's fuck" isn't an option; then again, I'm pretty sure that clandestinely initiating sex is the reason text messaging was invented.

  9. #4 and #6 never seem to work with my husband... unless my non-verbal cue is to saunter up to him wearing a strap-on harness.  Even walking around naked is no real help with him, though it certainly was effective with our playmate the other night.  I tend to just have to go straight for #9; my husband needs a cluebat even after all this time.

  10. Love that non-verbal cue. I can only imagine. #9 is pretty much always a guarantee, right?

    Thanks for stopping by!


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