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| Credit: Source Unknown |
It had been a long day.
She told herself that she would just listen. Maybe she could find satisfaction vicariously through the moans in the next room.
She found herself pressing her ear tighter against the wall, tracing her finger along its surface. With her weight pressed up against it, it was as if it would only take a slight zephyr to break the barrier between her and the lovers in the next room.
Something she desperately wanted – needed.
She quietly tiptoed out the door and noiselessly slipped into the next room.
As he thrust into the girl, she sidled up behind him.
Kissed his neck.
Ran her fingers over his body.
“Sorry, sis. I just couldn’t stay away.”
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| (Click for details on FFF!) |
This story may take the prize for hottest thing I've read in the past seven or eight minutes. It's well-written, as all of your stories are, but the final twist - that the two women are sisters - has me intrigued as to where the story could go given an unlimited word count. You can't imagine how many times I've wished one of Jill's sisters would interrupt us in just such a fashion.
ReplyDelete-Jack
Thanks, Jack! The limited word count definitely made me rethink some things, but I like that it forced me to have a twist at the end. Originally, the sister thing came out at the beginning, but this seemed much better.
DeleteNow, about this prize... ;-)
Agreed. We think it makes for a great ending!
ReplyDeleteNow, about this prize...
Loved it too, Lola! Great minds indeed...
ReplyDeleteI think the word constraints are the real challenges for these. It is really not easy to tell a story and evoke a response from the reader in so few words. Again, nice piece.
Ram
I 100% agree with you on the challenge of the word constraints.
DeleteGlad you liked the piece. :)
Word count? There was a word count?
ReplyDeleteAnother excellent piece. Well done!
Thanks!!
Delete*smiling* Enjoyed this!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear it. :)
DeleteDelicious! Hot and well-written take on this pic. :-)
ReplyDeleteHappy FFF!
Why, thank you, Max! It was a fun one to write.
DeleteDelicious, and naughty. Autobiographical by any chance ;-_
ReplyDeleteNope. 100% fiction.
DeleteVery nice. I've enjoyed the various takes. Sisters, twins, etc. I think I'm the only one who had her wanting to be the other woman.
ReplyDeleteI'd have loved to see/read his reaction to the second woman in the room.
Yes, I think you were! I think most everyone else got stuck on how similar the girls looked. I liked the sense of longing in yours. :)
DeleteI'm certain the second woman would have been well-received. :)